AARRGGHH!!

This is a message to all the techno-tards out there.

You know who you are. You’re the ones still using Netscape 4. You’re the ones who are too lazy to upgrade to a new browser, but aren’t too lazy to send off a snarky email to some overworked and underappreciated webmaster because their site doesn’t look perfect in Netscape 4. We’re sick of you. We’re especially sick of when you scream that you’re using the “latest version of Netscape” and the page is messed up, so we load it up in Netscape 7 and it’s fine, then we load it up in Netscape 4.8 (the “latest version” of Netscape 4) and, lo and behold, there’s the problem.

Here’s a news flash: Netscape 4 is six years old. The technology it’s based on is even older.

It’s also a piece of crap.

Upgrade your freakin’ browser. Netscape 7 and/or Mozilla 1.3 is available for your computer, no matter what OS you’re using. Yes, even you Windows 95 losers, you Mac OS 8 technophobes and you Linux nerds.

We’re sick of Netscape 4’s crap. We’re sick of its bugs, we’re sick of its stupid quirks, we’re sick of its pathetic excuse for CSS, we’re especially sick of waiting five minutes for it to display a page because there are (gasp!) nested tables (don’t get us started on reloading the page when you resize the window). WE WOULDN’T NEED THE NESTED TABLES IF IT WASN’T FOR NETSCAPE 4! And we still haven’t forgiven Netscape for the <blink> tag. (Or Microsoft for <marquee>, but that’s another matter.)

We’re sick of building a page that looks perfect (or damn close to perfect) in IE, Netscape 6/7, Mozilla, Opera and even Konqueror and iCab, then opening it in Netscape 4 and seeing our webpages, as interpreted by Salvador freakin’ Dali.

We’re declaring war on Netscape 4 and everyone who uses it because they think it’s “good enough”. It’s not.

Get Mozilla here: mozilla.org

Get Netscape 7 here: Netscape.com

Those of you who are too lazy to upgrade your browser will soon find that there’s nothing on the Internet for you. Remember the bad old “Optimized for Internet Explorer” days? Remember how you stuck with Netscape through those days because you couldn’t or wouldn’t use a Microsoft product? Remember how cool you thought you were because YOUR favourite sites were optimized for Netscape? Those days are here again, only this time there’s no coolness for using Netscape 4.

You don’t even have to sell your soul to Microsoft. You only have to upgrade your browser.

Get up-to-date or get left behind.

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