Put a Sock In It!

Guile advises Bono and Sting to stick to the singing

If it’s not bad enough that pop celebrities believe that having knocked out a couple of half-decent tunes qualifies them to act (David Bowie take note), it’s now apparent that several platinum albums is sufficient grounds on which to give forth on a range of complex and sensitive international issues.

There was a time when a musician’s whistle-stop tour involved prancing around in front of 10,000 lighter-waving teenagers. Now it’s more likely to be delivering a stern lecture to President Mugabe and having your picture taken with the fucking Pope.

Gentlemen, the only thing we want to hear coming out of your mouths in the future is an acoustic version of Roxanne for MTV’s Unplugged. Yes, we’re all worried about the rainforest. Yes, world hunger is very distressing, especially to a conscience-stricken multi-millionaire. But, for fuck’s sake, drop a cheque in the mail to the Red Cross and shut the fuck up.

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